Happy Father's Day, you earned it.

Dads have a strong need to protect their family. Maybe this is a reptilian brain thing but guys will often resort to wanting to pick up a stick or a brick when someone threatens one of his children or spouse. Like, puffing out his chest and scowl at anyone who might be a threat. Its likely that 150 years ago, resorting to physical violence was more necessary than it is today, thank goodness. While I can strike an imposing posture, when necessary, it's not my go-to thing because, well, I probably can't back it up.

When we were going through our legal case against Grace's predator, it was covered by the local media and shared online in social media. Many of the commenters shared their armchair quarterback perspectives which often included "if it was my kid, he would have a bullet in his head." Well-intentioned, but here is the reality; it's not your kid and you are not in that situation so sit down and shut the fuck up, tough guy.

When a dad reads that stuff, he will end up asking himself if he should go put in the person's head that hurt his child because apparently, thats how he is supposed to prove his love. It quicky contributes to the self-loathing and guilt over what has happened and it perpetuates the hurt. And in some cases, they decide to play vigilante and make matters worse. Now the family has two traumas to deal with and the dad is no longer able to be there to help get through the first trauma.

Yes, a dad's job is to protect his loved ones. But his other job is to love and create a safe space for his loved ones. And that is not a small insignificant thing. We don't have to contend with many of the threats that a dad might have to fend off 150 years ago. So creating that safe space becomes more of a priority and a need.

If you are a father or a male role model for a child who is dealing with something traumatic, your job is to ignore the expectations of someone who has no idea what you are dealing with. Your number one priority is to let your child know you love them and that you will support them and stand with them, no matter what.

Father's Day, 2014, with my four favorite people.

Being a dad is not easy. Its thankless and it never ends, regardless of how old they are. But its also the best job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

This Father's Day, hug your kid and tell them you love them. Tell them a terrible Dad joke and make them watch your favorite movie with you. My personal Father's Day tradition is making my girls watch a Star Wars movie and since its Fathers Day, they have to and its awesome. Its a tradition in our house that as much as the girls hate it, I think, deep down, they love it. And so do I.

You will make some mistakes, we all do. But you get back up and you try to do better. You don't need to measure up to some asshat that doesn't know you. You need to measure up to those people who call you Dad or look to you as that male role model. That is a hell of alot more important that than gaining the approval of someone living a completely different life than yours.

If your kid knows they can count on you, then you are doing a good job. And if they aren't sure if they can count on you, then you have something to work on and that's ok. We all do. They will be sure to point out all of the times you fell short. But you need to show them that you keep showing up and are trying to do better than you did the day before. And that is what matters.

You got this. Happy Father's Day, you earned it.